I Love You More Than I'm Afraid (Our Forevers #2) Page 8

  “Hey baby,” he said, pausing briefly where I was sure Aria was responding. “Uh, I mean we’re fine, but there’s definitely a problem.” He paused again. “No, no. We’re okay, it’s actually Arden. Hannah got a tip from an old friend of hers and Arden’s,” he winked at me, “that she’s at some shifty place called The Undersound, hanging out with a much older woman giving her liquor and drugs and stuff. Hannah can’t communicate with her, but we’re hoping if we send you the address you can—okay. Love you, bye.” He hung up his phone and looked across at me. “Yeah, she’s going. I was barely able to get the full sentence out.” He typed the address to Aria and then set his phone down. “She’s already on the way.”

  “Thanks,” I murmured.

  “You okay?” he asked.

  “I don’t know,” I said. “I haven’t for a really long time.”

  “Well, you know, I am always here for you if you need anything,” he said. “Anything at all.”

  “This is good for now,” I said. “I just really hope Aria can get to her in time.”

  7

  Arden

  As soon as Codie had sufficiently calmed down, it was much easier to enjoy my friends and the atmosphere of The Undersound. The closer it got to midnight, the more electric and exciting things got, and I fully enjoyed being sandwiched between Suli and Codie on the dance floor while a hip-hop and metal fusion band ripped up the shadowbox. I was riding the high of the drugs and the liquor made me feel like I was floating. I’d nearly forgotten how nice it was to come and be among people who were at least three years removed from bullshit high school politics and first loves.

  Hannah who?

  Suli was sexy as hell, and with the way she was grinding on me, I knew getting to her bedroom was going to be a walk in the park. Maybe I’d even pull a back-in-the-day move and just skip school tomorrow. I’d already presented the only final I had due that week. Any studying that I missed I could just catch up on with Aria over the weekend. Taking a little break from school to just kick my legs up at Suli’s apartment felt like the perfect way to spend a day.

  And that was exactly what I would do.

  “How’s it hangin’ here at The Undersound?!” one of the performers called out. We threw our hands in the air and screamed, as did everyone around us. “I gotta say. I’ve seen very few places turn up like this on a Monday! This one goes out to everyone who knows how to party no matter what day of the week it is!”

  Everyone let out another round of cheers and then the band kicked up another song. It generated more of a mosh pit than the last song had, and none of us were particularly into the ‘jump up and down and crash into other people’ movement. Codie had a hand on my waist and pulled me backwards out of the group, and I caught Suli’s hand and pulled her with me. She took a huge step forward and slammed against me, pressing her lips against my neck. I leaned back and let her have her way until Codie started to bonk each of us on the head.

  “Stop. That,” he said, enunciating each word as he smacked. “I’m not a bed.”

  We backed up into the VIP booth we’d commandeered where Darton and Polly were in full makeout mode. Codie rolled his eyes, but Suli pulled herself against my back and wrapped her arms around my torso. “See? We’re not the only ones.” She kissed my neck again.

  “I suggest you all find rooms,” he said.

  “Fine by me,” Darton said. “We pay good money for one.” He stood up, failing to hide his boner, but not seeming to care. “We’re outta here. See you guys.”

  We all gave our own forms of “Bye” as they slipped past us and walked out.

  “What about us?” Suli said. “You’re coming over right?”

  “Hell yeah,” I said. “My boner may not be as visible as Darton’s, but trust me, I have one.”

  Codie fake gagged. “And if I stay here, I’ll never have one again.”

  I laughed. “I’ll walk you out.”

  Suli pushed both Codie and I down to sit on the couch. “Just wait five minutes and let me finish up my shift then we’ll all leave.”

  Codie’s jaw dropped. “You’re working?! You’ve been on the dancefloor for the last hour.”

  She shrugged. “The owner has convinced himself that if he lets me do whatever I want I’ll magically be not gay and interested in what’s in his pants.”

  “You’re such a good person,” I said.

  Suli flipped me off, laughing. “Fuck you. You’re benefiting from it.”

  I looked over at Codie as Suli walked out. “She’s not wrong.”

  Codie kept a watch on the curtain until Suli was totally gone, then he looked across the booth at me. “Are you seriously gonna go home with her?”

  My head was swirling and my skin had a delightful, warm fuzziness to it. “Yeah. Why wouldn’t I?”

  “Oh, boy, let me unravel my list of reasons.” He mimed pulling a scroll out of his pocket and whipping it out as if it was a very long list. “You don’t have feelings for her, she’s six years older than you, she’s a bad influence—”

  “I was the one that came onto her,” I said.

  “How big was the gun you held to her head?” he asked.

  I rolled my eyes. “Listen, I’m not really in the mood to be lectured today. Please stop.”

  “What are you even doing here? You haven’t been here in months. I thought maybe you finally gave all of this up.”

  I recoiled at that. “Why would I give all of this up?”

  “Arden, this isn’t good for you. None of this is,” he said.

  “You just danced with me for like two hours. I didn’t see you dragging me out of here,” I said. “I know what I’m doing. You’re not that much older than me, so don’t act like you’re just that much better at making decisions.”

  “I know I’m not. I’m shit at making decisions. Why do you think I’m here and spent the last two hours dancing with you?” he hissed.

  “Ow,” I snapped. “Fuck you then.”

  “No, Arden.” He stood up and walked over to sit right next to where I was. “I love spending time with you. I don’t connect with many people, but we have a shared experience that means I will probably never trust another soul as much as I trust you. I love you and care about you. I just don’t want to see you drift off down a crazy path. You’re so smart and talented—you could be anything you want.”

  “So could you, but you’re here,” I said.

  “I’m in college. I have a job. Maybe I sleep around a bit, but I don’t give people any control over me. Can’t you see that she’s taking advantage of you?” he said.

  “If anything it’s the other way around,” I retorted. “She gets me in here for free. She never makes me pay for anything. She gives me a place to run to when I need an escape from my parents. She’s helped keep me from flying off the deep end. If anything I’m taking advantage of her.”

  “Then either way this isn’t a healthy relationship. You should let it go,” Codie said. “I’m just concerned you’re not… I don’t know, placing enough value on your life. A couple of small hiccups are not enough to completely toss everything away.”

  I let out a loud groan. “I’m not throwing anything away. I just want to destress. That’s it.”

  Codie didn’t seem convinced, but he stopped arguing. In place of saying anything else, he just snuggled a little closer and thunked his head against mine. I smiled. All things considered, I was a pretty lucky lady.

  I had wonderful friends.

  Maybe part of the reason Codie stopped the conversation was because he knew that five minutes had passed, and not long after we stopped talking, Suli came blowing back into the booth. She had her purse slung over her shoulder and a dazed smile on her face. “Okay. Let’s go.”

  After excusing our way through the clusters of bar patrons, we made our way down the hallway and out the side door. Suli gasped at the sight of Codie’s car parked next to mine. “How did you get a spot back here, my god.”

  “Just got lucky,” Codie
said. “Someone was pulling out.”

  “And…” I said.

  He side-eyed me and then smiled. “And some guy saw me searching and offered it up.”

  I nodded. “There ya go.”

  “Arden!”

  Suli, Codie and I looked up and saw someone standing shaded in the darkness of the night near my car. The body stormed towards us, and when it came into the light of the flood lamps on the side of the building my jaw dropped.

  “Aria?!” I yelped. “What are you doing here?”

  “Oh my god, you’re gorgeous!” Aria screeched at Codie. “Are you human?”

  Codie giggled. “This is Aria? I like her.”

  “What are you doing here?” I asked again.

  “Me? What are you doing here?” she spat back. “This is a twenty-one plus club and you are not twenty-one plus.” She walked a bit closer to me and stared into my eyes. “Are you drunk? Did you take drugs?” Her head snapped in Suli’s direction. “Did you give her drugs?”

  “Oh yeah,” Codie said. “Definitely like her.”

  Aria reached forward and grabbed my arm. “You’re coming with me.”

  I frowned, frustrated that Aria was killing my buzz. “I’m not going with you. I’m going with Suli.”

  Aria laughed. “No. You’re not. Come on.”

  Suli yanked on my arm. “Hey, back off. She said she wants to come with me.”

  Aria looked Suli up and down. “I’ve been nice to you so far. Do not make me change that.”

  Codie laughed next to me. “Here we go. This is awesome.”

  “Did you talk to Hannah?” I said. “I’m surprised that you would listen to—”

  “Don’t you dare insult me to my face,” Aria hissed. “I came here because I’m worried about you and you are clearly not thinking straight. Do you trust me?”

  “Of course I do,” I said.

  She pointed backwards towards my car. “Then get in the car.”

  I looked over at Suli and then frowned. “I’m gonna go with her.”

  “What?” Suli said. “What about me?”

  “I’ll call you tomorrow,” I said.

  She yanked away from me, clearly frustrated. She gave Aria an up and down look before stomping off. We stood in silence as she got into her car, started it up, and eventually drove away.

  Codie pulled his phone out and held it out towards Aria. “Puh-leese, drop me your contact. I love you.”

  Aria snorted. “I’m not all that happy with you. Who are you? How could you let an eighteen year old drink and take drugs?”

  “Aria, I make my own deci—”

  She stabbed a finger at me. “I’m not done with you. Just wait your turn.”

  Codie let out a bright, belly laugh. “That’s right. Get me girl!” He ran a hand through his hair. “Trust me, I tried to interfere with both. This little relationship too, but Arden is much stronger than me, trust me.”

  Aria narrowed her gaze. “She is very strong.” Then she pulled out her phone and touched it to Codie’s, exchanging their contact info. Then she put her phone away. “Call me if she turns up here again.”

  Codie nodded. “I will gladly be that snitch.” He must have been able to feel the heat emanating off of me, because he turned and kissed me on the cheek. “You’ll forgive me for this, trust me.” He gave Aria a hug. “Thank you for being wonderful in every way.”

  “Yeah. Thank you,” she replied. Then Codie got in his car, but stayed sitting in place. “What’s he doing?”

  “He won’t just leave us here, so we should go,” I said.

  “Where are your keys?” Aria asked.

  I didn’t respond, just fished my keys out of my pocket and handed them over to her. She took them from me and went around to the passenger’s side door first to unlock it and let me in, then she went around to the driver’s side and climbed in. She started up the car and then said, “Hopefully Codie is okay waiting for a sec. I have to make a couple of calls.”

  “Fine,” I said.

  She dialed on her phone for a moment and then brought the phone to her ear. “Hey baby, I’ve got her…” I could hear Tristan’s voice responding on the other end, though I couldn’t make out the words. “Yeah, actually, that would be helpful. Thank you. Bye.”

  She set down her phone and then started up my car before pulling out of the parking lot and setting off into the night. I was fully expecting her to start laying into me. She’d screamed at me that she wasn’t done with me when we were still talking to Codie, but now she was just staring forward, her hands throttling the steering wheel with her eyes narrowed. It was like having an angry parent. The silence was worse than the screams.

  “I thought you said you needed to make a couple of calls. You only made one.”

  “Tristan offered to make the other for me.”

  “Are you gonna yell?” I asked.

  “Yep, but not right now. Not while you’re like this,” she said.

  I just bowed my head. “Okay.”

  Aria took me back to her house and when we walked inside, I was even more upset to see that her mom was not only awake, but sitting on the couch fully dressed. She stood up as soon as we walked in and rushed over to me. She tilted my head back and looked into my eyes, then frowned. “What’d you take?”

  “X,” I responded.

  The disappointed look she gave me killed me. “How much?”

  “A couple of pills over the course of a handful of hours.”

  “Okay.” Then she pushed me off towards the stairs. “To bed.”

  I might have felt much better if either of them would yell at me, but they both seemed to not want much to do with me while I was high, which was a terrible feeling—at least somewhere between the high and buzz it was.

  Aria mumbled a couple of things to her mom that I couldn’t make out in my haze, but then she took me by the arm and led me up stairs. She tucked me into her bed and then climbed into the cozy, reclining armchair where I normally slept when I stayed with her. She started texting on her phone, I imagined with Tristan, who was probably going to tell Hannah. For the fact that I was finally feeling relaxed I was beginning to think that taking up Suli’s offer to go to The Undersound wasn’t such a good idea after all.

  I probably wouldn’t have gotten much sleep if the drugs and booze in my system hadn’t knocked me out, but thankfully they did. It was a torrid sleep, filled with Codie, Aria, and Aria’s mom’s judgmental gazes, along with nightmares of Suli getting sick of my inconsistent behavior and cutting me off. On top of all that, night sleeping was something I hated, so every time I woke up in the darkness of the room, even though Aria was there—which helped—I had a temporary heart attack before realizing everything was fine.

  Morning was welcome, but only until I drifted downstairs and found Aria and her mom eating breakfast at the dining room table. They were both early risers and were already dressed and ready for their day, and as soon as I walked into the kitchen, Aria’s mom jumped up and scuttled into the kitchen, likely to retrieve me some food of my own. My head was pounding and my stomach was growling because I hadn’t had much to eat since lunch the day before.

  “How are you feeling?” Aria grunted.

  “Guilty,” I said. “With a killer headache.”

  “Is that normal, or should I be concerned?” she asked.

  “Pretty normal.” I nodded. “Look, Aria I—”

  “My dad died because he got wasted and high and fell asleep in the freezing weather,” she said before I could get too many words out. “I’m not saying that you can’t be into certain things because of how I feel about it. Weed doesn’t bother me at all, and even booze wouldn’t be as much of an issue so long as you were being safe, but at a club, underage? With a woman, what, six years older than you? And hard drugs? I mean, are you trying to kill me? How do you think it felt to get a call from Tristan telling me that my best friend is at some sketchy bar getting high?”

  I bowed my head. “You’re totally r
ight. I’m sorry. I just… Hannah and I got into it after school yesterday and I was really stressed out. Suli called at kind of a bad time in terms of me turning her down. It seemed really nice when she said it.”

  “Why didn’t you call me? We could have talked about it? We could have gone out to an age-appropriate place where arrest and bodily harm are not risks.”

  “You had plans with Tristan, I thought?” I said.

  “Even if he didn’t cancel to go be with Hannah because she was feeling upset after your conversation too, it wouldn’t have mattered. When you call me, I’m there for you, that’s the deal,” she said. “I can’t be feeling like I’m gonna get a call and hear that you’re in a jail cell or dead in a ditch. You’re so much smarter than that.”

  Part of me wanted to defend myself. In the past or with anyone else I would have, but Aria was such a different kind of person in my life. It felt like defending myself was just making excuses. Aria was totally right, I had a million options before I had that one. I had Aria, I had my other friends on the debate team, hell I could have just gone home. Even if I had called Codie, I could have met him somewhere other than The Undersound.

  “All I can say is I’m sorry.”

  “I don’t want to hear you’re sorry, I want to hear that you won’t do that again,” she said. “I’m here for you. Whatever you need, I’ll help you through it, but I am not going to just stand by while you hurt yourself.”

  “If that’s your Aria way of saying you aren’t going to be friends with me if I go to The Undersound, then it’s not even a question. I won’t go back there again.”

  Aria smiled at me for the first time since she stormed up to me the night before. “You promise?”

  “I promise,” I said.

  She nodded. “Okay. Thank you.” She reached under the table then and pulled her backpack up onto the chair next to her. She unzipped it and pulled out some pop rocks and a bottle of sparkling cider and set them on top of the table. “I got these.”

  I looked down at them in confusion. “For a fun, crackling time?”

  Aria sniffled and I looked up and she was crying. “I thought we could pretend the pop rocks are drugs and the sparkling cider is booze.”